Just as I was mentally preparing for IVF in March, thinking that maybe it really could work, and trying to figure out how to scrape together another $9000, I got an email from a midwife friend of mine. She has a client who is looking for a family to adopt her baby. She already has an 8 month old baby, is not with the father, has no family and feels she can't take care of both. She is due in April.
So now we are working on a "Dear Birthmother" letter for her - we need to get it to the midwife this weekend. She is arranging for us to meet with her next week.
My head is spinning a little right now. Adoption was an abstraction, now it is a possibility. As I was re-reading parts of Adoption for Dummies, I got excited and a little nervous. Now that this is real, is it really what I want to do? Then I thought of holding my clients' babies yesterday, private moments shared between newborns and their midwife, and I thought, "any of these babies, if I could take them home as my child, I would love them to pieces."
I woke up this morning, imaging my baby in the co-sleeper next to me. When S got out of bed at 4 am, I imagined bringing my daughter into the crook of my body and snuggling with her while we got a couple more hours of sleep. She felt so good.
I know it is too soon to get too excited. We need to meet with the mother. She needs to feel good about us, we need to feel good about her, she needs to maintain her decision to adopt once her baby is born. I am feeling cautiously hopeful, not emotionally invested yet, which is an unusually wise response from me. At this point, it can go in a lot of directions, but I am just grateful to have this opportunity.
Today I am grateful for:
* the potential opportunity to adopt a baby soon
* my kitty is getting braver, and hanging out downstairs more
* another clear and sunny day - is this the Pacific Northwest?
What I am doing today to take care of myself:
* today's a day off work, and I'm going to keep it that way!
* drawing illustrations for the children's book I just wrote for my nephews and nieces
* enjoying a little Tony Hillerman in front of the woodstove
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8 comments:
Oh oh oh!!!
Wow!! That's amazing. I really hope it all works out for you. I'm getting shivers of excitement on your behalf.
wow, life really does change, day to day!
I think it is smart to be cautious, and that your daydreams show you are ready for this leap.
Simply amazing. Your post is radiating with some mighty powerful hope.
Wow! I don't know what to say... but I guess it is smart to be cautious....
That is fabulous news!!! Wow. I am so excited and hopeful for you. I know there is a lot that can happen between now and then, and I will be keeping good thoughts for you. Yay!
As I read this, I felt the rush of excitement and anxiety for you. I cannot imagine how you wrap your mind around this.
No matter the outcome, I am overjoyed you have the conviction and feel right in your heart that this twist was meant to be.
May your long journey be coming to an end soon!
OH man! This is exciting news! Keep us posted!
Oh it sounds sooo exciting -- and you sound like you are in a good place (and not just the Hillerman by the woodstove -- which sounds so idyllic!)
XO
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