Bleeding

Thank you to everyone for your support. I truly appreciate it. It took me by surprise how upset I was that the cycle didn't work. I went into the cycle not expecting much, pretty detached and unemotional. The progesterone did a number on me and got me pretty bought in to the idea of being pregnant.

Anyways, now I am bleeding, which I have a Love/Hate relationship with.

The Hate part is obvious. Another period means another unsuccessful cycle, and all the trauma and sadness of that. You all know.

But the Love part is that I love it when I bleed well. Red, fresh, complete. You see one of my key TCM diagnoses is Blood Stagnation, which means I don't move my blood. Prior to seeing Dr J, my periods were very light, and dark, and clotty. Even when the ultrasound showed a uterine lining of 12, my periods would do little more than fill panty liners.

I've been taking chinese herbs for Blood Stagnation since April, and still have light periods, but the blood looks healthier and more red, and the periods aren't as painful, so that's an improvement.

Sorry if this was a gross post, but this is what's on my mind.

S and I opted to go back to Clomid. It's a known to us. We have gotten pregnant on it, so why couldn't we again? S is really into the idea of Clomid (because of past success), so I decided if nothing else, I would do a few cycles more of it for him. He has been so unconditionally supportive of me for the past 4 years, the least I can do is give him a couple more months of Clomid. Plus, I do have some confidence in it too.

Today I am grateful for:
* support from my on-line buddies :-)
* an improved outlook

What I am doing to take care of myself today:
* great acupuncture treatment
* healthy lunch at a fun restaurant out in the sun
* completing paperwork so my stress can be "filed" away with it