(My little angel, getting ready to take the dogs out for a walk. I'm sorry that I don't have more pictures to post. It seems like they all have one of us in the photos, and I'm not ready to give up my internet anonymity.)
On Saturday we had a "Meet the Baby" party. It was so wonderful to have our community of friends and family welcome her into the world, and welcome them into their lives. It meant a lot to S and I to have everyone together, showering her with love and affection. And with Pinecone coming so suddenly, I felt like it was important for her to get firmly rooted into our extended community, including some people who hadn't even realized we were adopting. I asked people to bring a wish or a blessing for her, and they wrote them in a journal I've started for her. It was amazing to see people's blessing - an amazing introduction for Pinecone and the life she will lead being in our family and our community.
I hope as she grows up, she will enjoy reading about the love and joyful intent that she was showered with from the moment she was born. As she gets older and has questions about her adoption, I'm hoping this documentation of everyone's love and excitement for her will help any rough spots she has as she understands the path that her life took.
It's amazing to think about the journey of her soul. Did she know she was coming into our family, and was that her intent? Or did she start down a different path of life, and have us (her parents and her birthparents) make choices that changed her path? I wonder about that. What is very clear, is that she was meant to be with us, whatever the path that brought her here. Early on in my blog, I wrote an entry called "It will all make sense", and you know, it is true. Now that I have Pinecone, those 5 years of waiting, wondering, crying, shooting up, and popping pills seem so irrelevant. At once 150% worth it and totally inconsequential. As I searched back for the entry just now, I see that it was written almost exactly a year ago. Here it is again for your reading pleasure .....
July 24, 2008
It Will All Make Sense
When I am holding my baby in my arms, it will all make sense.
As I am raising my child, I will know that she or he was the one I was waiting for.
Four years, one miscarriage, one chemical. One IVF, five IUIs, countless shots and pills and ultrasounds. Thousands of miles driven to and from appointments. I believe that when I finally have my baby, I will understand that all of that was needed to have MY child. I don't know who this kid is that is going to be our child, but when she or he is here, it will all make sense why I had to wait so long. If I had gotten pregnant two years ago, that would be a different child. Apparently not the one I am waiting for.
11 comments:
This is so beautiful. The welcoming of this new life and also your thoughts from a year ago. I'm so glad that you were right! :)
Indeed... it all makes sense. From here on out, you will always know why the wait took so long. For Her. Oh, the journey is wonderous, isn't it? Love her up!
Well said...I feel much the same about our baby!
She is a beauty!!
Having kept up with your story through options that you just knew weren't right for you, it's so amazing to see how much you know this one truly is. I'm so glad you trust your heart enough to follow it's lead!
Thank you so much for including that entry!
The welcome ceremony sounds so lovely! Will you do a naming ceremony as well? This sounds like one we did for a friend's baby.
OK this was a tough one to read at work without crying! What a beautiful and incredibly thoughtful way to welcome her into your family and community. She will know how loved she's been from the beginning.
The party sounds awesome. I'm so glad things are good for you.
On a side note, you have used Pinecone's real name in this entry. It might have been on purpose, but if it wasn't I thought I'd let you know.
This post speaks to me so much, Evergreen. It is so wonderful to hear that little Pinecone is the one you have been waiting for. Thank you for writing this - it gives me so much hope and the promise of peace for my own future.
Thanks, Planning, for pointing that out! It's edited now.
Congratulations, she is beautiful!
It's me again! Would you mind contacting me about some questions on adoptive breastfeeding? It's something I'm considering, and was curious about a few things (such as the logistics of night-time feedings, and how many Lact-Aid systems you need!). I can be reached at questforalifetime at gmail.com... thanks! :)
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