As S and I look back over the past week, we see that things were said or implied about the situation that we should have picked up on. Yes, the agency should have been more direct and forthcoming from the beginning, but we also should have listened closer. We really wanted to make this work, we really wanted to bring home this baby, and it clouded our judgement. Huge lessons learned there. I think we all were in the wrong.
The baby meanwhile has been adopted by the right family for her, and everyone on that end feels good about how things turned out.
I talked with the agency at length, and as far as us backing out, she said there are times when the right fit doesn't happen at first - these things happen. We will not be black-listed and will be give proper showing. That is a relief. Now the question is how much they will emphasize S's hearing loss (without his hearing aid he can't hear anything, with it if he is reading lips he gets about 80-90% one-on-one), as they said communication about disabilities goes both ways. I want them to let prospective birth parents to know about his hearing loss - I don't want the first they hear about it be when we are all sitting down to talk for the first time. But will they now over-emphasize it? I am waiting to hear for the gal who works directly from with the birth parents to discuss this. We actually should have clarified this a while ago, so I guess it's good that it's happening now ...
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5 comments:
I'm glad that you were able to work through these things with the agency. I'm sure that's a huge weight lifted. You guys are so strong to go throught this a 2nd time. I am keeping everything crossed that the third time's a charm.
Gosh a lot can happen in when someone is on vacation! I'm glad you are getting things worked out and have made the choice that is best for you and for the baby.
Both of you (and your boobs ;-P) are in our thoughts!
Wow! You really have been on a crazy rollercoaster ride.
I'm glad you made the decision that is right for you - it must be hard to give up a baby that is right there, just waiting. But it makes sense to make sure it's the right fit - I'd have done the same thing.
Very easy to have judgment clouded when you're dealing with such intense emotions...don't beat yourself up!
I'm glad you're feeling better now, and you were able to talk with your agency about your concerns.
Melba
I keep meaning to stop in here and offer a long thoughtful comment, and getting sidetracked! Lady you are SO BRAVE to have stuck with your gut on this and followed your heart. I hope the agency has the integrity to respect that and continue to treat you both like the treasure you obviously are and will be to the right baby someday. Hopefully someday SOON. ♥
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