Pinecone doesn't like to nap. I know, I've already written about it. But it's getting old, taking hours to get her to fall asleep in the afternoon. If she doesn't take a nap, it's a really tough evening. She clearly gets exhausted and strung out. So I try hard to get her to sleep when she starts showing sleepy signs and not waiting until she's overtired. She, meanwhile, does her best to thwart my efforts by refusing to go to sleep, so that she does get to the point of being exhausted and strung out.
I have tried: nursing her to sleep, rocking her to sleep, walking her to sleep, bouncing her to sleep, holding her, laying her down sleepy and letting her put herself to sleep, swaddling, playing music, playing white noise, playing the radio, total silence, hanging curtains, warming up her bed. Rinse and repeat. I have sought advice from friends and sisters, and followed it. I have not found what works for her yet.
Now, that's ok. The afternoon nap is really the only hard part of being Pinecone's mom -- I know that overall I have it easy. Most of the time she is like this ...
or like this ...
or occassionally ...
I realized today that what gets me is my own reaction to not being able to put her down for a nap. I feel like a loser of a mom. Meanwhile I am trying to be a bit of a housewife, which really doesn't come naturally to me at all. I do feel much more compelled to have a clean house, and have been enjoying cooking and cleaning more. But I have given up on getting those things done during naptime. I do that at night, along with washing diapers, doing other laundry, and making up bags of breastmilk for the night. But I hate that I keep needing S to give me pep talks, because that makes me feel like a loser too. I get frustrated, yes with PC, but mostly with myself. Add to that that all those sleep-inducing techniques make me sleepy, and my interrupted nighttime sleep catches up with me at that point. So then I become exhausted and strung out too. I need her to nap so that I can nap.
So tonight, S is going to be on baby-duty. We'll make up a couple of bottles for the night, I'll take a melatonin, and I'll see my lovely family in the morning.
Maybe if I am rested tomorrow afternoon, naptime won't be such a struggle.
8 comments:
A "melation," I LOVE that!! You definitely deserve it, that's for sure!
I can totally relate to what you say about your own expectations of yourself and being able to let go. I think when we have waited so long to be moms...we expect even more from ourselves than we should. Seems like since we wanted this so much, we should excel at it.
The napping thing is hard. I wish I had other advice for you, but it sounds like you've tried pretty much everything. Maybe it's an age thing and she will start to take more regular naps when she gets a bit bigger?
Hang in there, and enjoy your me time!!
Melba
your plan sounds like a good one to me! I don't think you're a loser mom, and I know you don't think that either. This sounds FRUSTRATING. but that's why you've got S around! I'm glad you're letting him have some nights so that Pinecone has a rested mama sometimes. ♥
Rest for you will make HUGE difference - it's just so hard to be tired and watch someone else not go to sleep.
Have you tried that odd-sounding method of putting her down way before you think she needs it? Oddly enough, it does seem to work sometimes. The other thing I wonder about is these brain-hemisphere synchroniser CDs. My acu has them in her office and they completely conk me out - it's not just relaxing so much as hypnotising, but maybe something like that could do the trick?
Meanwhile, take care of yourself and at least you'll be better able to cope with the frustration. I so remember that, and you have all my sympathies - rest up and keep trying possibilities until you find that one weird thing that does the trick!
Be gentle on yourself if you can -- and as my good friend told me -- allow yourself to let everything go -- the housework, the dinners ---
I was just reading the Penelope Leach book Babyhood -- and though it's a bit old now it has a lot of information -- and I just read the part about colic-y babies -- and mostly it is that afternoon into evening period where they simply can't be consoled...and that, sadly, some babies are just wakeful --
Time takes care of so much -- day by day, week by week -- at least that's what I've heard :)
In the meantime -- catch those naps and know you're doing a wonderful job.
P
I love the pictures. My friend just sent me some advice, very personalize, and one thing she said was that she is letting herself not be perfect(she tried hard with first baby) and that is so helpful.
I hope the napping improves!
Thanks for your post on this - I think it is something we all need to hear, because I think a lot of us have similar problems with managing expectations (maybe not necessarily the naps but some other trigger). Hang in there, and I hope your weekend was restful!
I feel you. I absolutely 100% feel you. My girl doesn't like to nap either and it gets me so tense. If I find a nap miracle cure, I'll let you know!
I completely relate to your high expectations of yourself and of course you already know you need to cut yourself some slack because at this point Pinecone couldn't care less whether you're a good mom or a bad, she thinks you are the sun, moon and stars and her little behaviors are definitely not a reflection of your parenting skills. But I remember my own nap struggles with Evie and I'd call up my mom crying about how I just couldn't handle it anymore. Anyhow, forgive me for offering advice but have you tried wearing her to get her to sleep and then transfering to the crib?
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